Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
