Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
