Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He felt like a one man threesome
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
