I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
