It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So many bounce houses so little time
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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