Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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