do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
