yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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