So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just had sex on a roof
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
