What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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