3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
