I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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