2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
