none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
