Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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