The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
