Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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