Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
