i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
