Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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