walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
