grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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