Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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