the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
