i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
