Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
