So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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