you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
