and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
