They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
