Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
