So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
