I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
