last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I love having hate sex.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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