His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He had one of those small greek statue penises
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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