party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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