READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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