hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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