What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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