i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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