I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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