Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
