You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
