is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Too much gin, very little bucket
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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