He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
