the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
