Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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