I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
