i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
