Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
