He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
