Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
