Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
