so let's talk penis.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
