Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
