GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
