I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
