sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
