Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My vagina just clenched in fear
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
