Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
